sir could you just calm down for a second
"why didnt they use the sword earlier" BECAUSE IT DOESNT CAUTERIZE WOUNDS SO IF THEY SLASHED UP A KAIJU AROUND THE CITY BLOOD WOULD GET ON EVERYTHING AND MAKE EVERYTHING DEAD THEY WAITED UNTIL THEY WERE FAR ENOUGH AWAY TO NOT SPLATTER IT ALL OVER THE PLACE DO YOU EVEN PAY ATTENTION TO PACRIM LORE
this was also the same fortress where i found out that one of the immigrating dwarves had been a vampire, so using some (almost) metagaming tactics to find out which one it was i finally penned the fucker into their own little cell kinda thing that branched off of the main fortress aboveground. if you forbid a door then literally no dwarf will ever touch it or open it ever, even vampiric ones, so i had it more or less trapped there for a while.
so, it got really hungry. in my infinite wisdom of me trying to install a training center in it’s cell so it could eventually train up to be a superpowered siege-breaker, i accidentally left the door unforbidden for a few moments more than i would have liked. the thing is, i went to go look somewhere else while the current mayor of the fortress happened to be walking by the ramshackle little holding cell. the alert message of SO AND SO HAS BEEN FOUND DEAD AND DRAINED OF BLOOD popped up and made my view home in on the little dude’s dead body laying out in the rain, followed by an announcement of SO AND SO HAS BEEN ELECTED MAYOR!!!
the thing is, positions like mayor are usually decided based on a dwarf’s social skills. there’s like 8 of the goddamn things and they’re just mostly useless little things that pertain to how well this particular bearded ant can converse with other and be friends.
vampires are really old. it doesn’t directly say on their description page so you can’t immediately point them out, but they’re old as fuck. this gives them plenty of time to work on being a friendly little shit to others that they’re probably about to drain of blood an hour later. this one vampire had superdwarf levels of social skills.
it became mayor by draining the blood of the previous mayor.
everyone proceeded to have a party that consisted of staring at statues and carvings on the walls in the dining room.
dwarf fortress is completely impenetrable to me, but the stories that come out of it are always amazing. thanks for dorfbloggin
coming out of your room at 3 am and seeing your parents